Katts

Starting over was not easy. I got approached by another young woman that I actually knew. We worked together as bar ladies in my 20's. She had a 3 month baby girl so I thou.ght. More woman together. Fuller house safety in numbers u know. So I let her move in charging the same rental as I did the first lady. But this woman was useless at keeping her baby calm. And got irritated and would scream and swear at the baby I got fed up after I heard her smack the baby and got up and took baby from her to help. Except baby mamma got to comfortable with the arrangement. So I told her fine I’ll look after ur child to but u paying me. So I did it. Only this girl couldn’t wait to get all hippy with my ex and was throwing her body around so much. I started fearing sexual diseases. I finally met someone and after talking to him for a few months. We decided to meet. I have never hidden my past from my boyfriend’s. So anyone I had been with knew upfront. But I took precautions and was always safe. I had my tests and I’m clean. Anyway so I go visit by my new friend for a week which eventually became 2. Then we talk and it’s suggested I move in and then I don’t have to live like I am. So here I think yay I can get out this hole I’m in. So I accept. My baby is with dad for the weekend so I tell my new guy let’s go pack my stuff. And off we go. I get to the house. Nothing’s locked. But it’s dead quiet. My eldest goes up the stairs to the room to start, but comes running down the stairs asking me, mommy why is uncle so so in say woman’s bed. So I ask her where’s the woman. She tells me also in the bed and my sister’s In the middle of them while they sleeping in their underwear. Now I’m so angry I could kill. How fucking dare u put my baby in the middle of ur whoring. So I struggle up the stairs. Slam the bedroom door open and ask point blank in my babies father’s face. What whoring us this with my baby in the room His whore jumps up in my face screaming and swearing. So I punched her. She fell and I grabbed a handful of her fake black curls and knot my fingers in there. By now baby daddy has jumped up and starts pushing me that I’m falling all over. With his whore enjoying my tangled fingers and has no choice but to get beat up along the way. Mr big scary man tries pushing me out the room. But the fighter in me is fed up and after he threw me that I almost went down the stairs, I stood up. Spread my legs curled my only working hand around my phone and I start punching in a downward fashion. Not seeing my cellphones sticking out my fist slightly. But I just hit over and over until I saw blood. Then I shocked myself back into calm. I had broken his one bottom tooth. Mr was furious, and marched out the house to go get the police for me. But by this time, my eldest had contacted my mom and stepdad and they had baby so I was able to start packing so I did. Except I stuck a kitchen knife in my pocket. And just packed like normal and had my back to the kitchen door, suddenly baby daddy was standing there threatening to take my child and bring me down. And as he stepped into the kitchen I turned with the knife and he stopped. So I got nasty and taunted him. I told him oh yes, the big man only hurts defenseless woman. It didn’t work and baby innocently walked in and I put the knife back in my pocket, but made sure he saw me do it. The police arrived and the female officer stepped inside talking to me. And I explained what I found and saw and the physical fight that broke out. Mr was trying to get his whore to come lay charges against me to. But all I did was walk towards the female officer. She saw I was disabled and told me to get a bodily harm form and go to the doctor. So I did. I went to the station and gave my statement. I then took the form to my doctor. Where she explained my condition and weaknesses. While she had a good laugh at my ex and how I had turned the tables on him by hitting back I still owe this doctor for this check up as I had been hurt and being thrown on top of wooden chests had taken it’s toll, so I was bruised. Which was caused due to loss of muscle from being partially paralysed.

Alright so we had a huge argument and I refused to let him leave until he had taken my eldest child’s Xbox games out his bag. I called the cops because lawfully he can’t remove anything until all that doesn’t belong to him has been taken out. I got my child’s stuff after he slammed the boot of our car on my head and shoulders a few times. He even pushed me but I had been holding onto the car so I just looked at him. Now being so much weaker than him by rights I should have fallen. How I stayed on my feet could only be pure will. But at that moment the cops arrived and the officer saw him pushing me. So he screamed from the van to remove ur hands from that woman. I got released immediately. They had parked in front of my gate so I took my crutch and went up to open for them. I explained what I wanted and the officer enforced it. Baby daddy then left. Taking the car and all the funds. Now I’m panicking. I don’t have food in the house. I’m alone with a 1 year old and still barely able to walk from my stroke. I live in the middle of nowhere, with just bush around me. I contacted my mom and told her what my now ex fiance did. She rushed over to help with baby and took her until I could get food into the house.

I put a call out to all my friends. And a lady I’ve known for years responded with her husband. They brought me rice. Some chicken liver and whatever they could afford to get. Then I went and got my baby back. I was not letting this man’s actions because he wasn’t man enough to handle what had happened, force me to lose my baby. Then came the worry of keeping food in my house for baby. So I kept stressing and I stopped eating and started living off water and tea. My mind was wrapped around any food belonged to my baby. 3 days after he left. He bought a checkers packet of food but dropped it at my parents place. Which then costed my stepdad to have to walk to me to bring the food. It had been a pack of 4 chicken breasts. A pack of worse and nothing else. How do u feed a 1 year old just meat. So I asked around and found out that theirs certain places a woman can advertise if she’s desperate. So I looked at my body in the mirror and put some lace on and took photos. Leaving my face out only capturing my body. And I put the advert out. I was petrified and I wasn’t able to be flexible. So earning potential was left to weekdays while my child went to creche and that her father had to pay. And weekends if my child was with dad or gran. My family helped me as much as they could. And my poor stepdad walked up and down for milk or bread. Or anything I might need. He would walk to me, collect money then go to the shops and walk back. This man did more for me than any person. And I will always be grateful. This man my mom married when I was 13 years old was the best decision she ever made. He will go to the ends of the earth for us. Ok so now I’m selling my body to get food for my child. But due to restrictions I’m still struggling to keep up. The fact that I can’t really walk didn’t bother my visitors but I couldn’t go out to them. So it cut back on hundreds I could make. So mow I start hunting for a roommate. But I need an open minded woman. Because I’m female. My child’s female and because of my circumstances that needed to be understood. I found a young African girl through one of my visitors and we started talking on whatsapp. This girl was on her own and very young. So I offered the protection of 2 woman in an accommodation. There was a house for fill use and I had 2 big dogs that were indoor and outdoor. German shepherd cross ridgeback. One day later she moved in. Sadly she saw my circumstances and worked consistently until she filled the fridge. But by now I can’t really stomach Solid food. So still not eating. The weight loss was drastic and I was starting to look sick.

Ok. But saying that. I met many wonderful people. A young African man that had a tumour cut off his spine. Got all his movement back and finally went home. Then there was another African man that always met me in gym in the mornings so we could ride bicycle together. Him on the normal bike and me sitting in my wheelchair with my feet strapped to the peddles and then we cycle until our therapists find us. I also met 2 ladies one my age that had been in a boating accident and broke her spine that she was paralysed. I’ve watched this lady keep fighting through the years never giving up to walk again. And then there was sian tae. I can say her name because she was in the newspapers for having a rare disease. This girl had become paralysed from the epidural while birthing her little boy. After the procedure. She never got her legs back. But she fought to walk and fought to run. 5 years later. She gets cancer and dies from that. I was heartbroken. But I admire the fight she put up and u just couldn’t get to her.

And now back to me. I had stay in the rehabilitation center for 2 months. Finally I come home. Now things are weird. By this stage, I had birthed a baby, then had a stroke. I’m home but barely able to walk. And found out my fiance had been sending emails to other woman while I was going through all this. So I email both woman and explain who I am and I forward the other ladies email to one. Then swooped and did the same thing to the second. I apologise to both of them for my man being a man who’re and press send. Then I get a message from a friend only to find out he tried to get her to move in my house. Except he didn’t know. We knew each other. So I tell her everything I found out and said I believe her. Later I confront him. But his words to me were. Are u trying to fuck my life up. Nevermind everything I had been through. And that’s when I knew it was not going to work. Any ways jumping 1 year later. I’ve just celebrated my babies first birthday and was very proud that I was back to driving and being able to go out on my own by now. Stood and baked for my child’s birthday and because she was a baby I made pink cupcakes in the shape of a big number 1. Boy was I slapped in the face. So I explain instead of a cake I did cupcakes. I got sworn at and he stormed out going to the shop and bought a cake to let everyone sing. Needless to say it ended up she got scared of the lights being off and everyone singing that she cried and I put a stop to everything putting lights on. A month or so later our roads water is switched off. So now making bottles. I needed to fetch water from my mom’s. So I take the kids and go. I get back and I park the car. My eldest helps me get baby out car and we take water bottles and go inside. As I step inside I see my France’s work bag laying in the middle of the floor packed. So I ask him if the work called for him to go offshore again. He tells me no. I’m leaving. Now I’m confused things have been ok. I’ve bbeen doing therapy and learning how to cope without anyone to help me look after my baby. He stated so nicely I’m lraving u. So I ask again. Why. He looks at me and tells me u to much of a bitch since u had ur stroke. I stand there in shock and look at him. I can’t bbelieve I loved u. Ur a selfish bastard. What the he’ll did u expect from me. I’d had a c section then a stroke and a year later u expect a bed of roses. Yet u running behind my back like a whore. Ok now I need a small break. The next section will be very emotional for me.

Hi everyone. Just a quick call in. Im sorry I've left u all hanging. But in next day or so I will continue. Sadly my country is at war with itself. And I'm just trying to sort out a few surprises.

If u in South Africa with me. Im sending u all love and strength. Prays are coming from all over the world. For those that went out to protect ur community I'm very proud to call u all brothers and sisters, and thank u. To those families that lost loved ones. Im terribly sorry. They will be forever in ur hearts and memory. To those out there fearing hunger. We are busy getting a list of suppliers. As soon as everything's collected we will be handing out information into ur areas. Please be patient. We working as fast as we can.

And please #note not all Zulu are involved. And to be fair to innocent people.

Love to all. I'll be back soon.