Katts

Starting over was not easy. I got approached by another young woman that I actually knew. We worked together as bar ladies in my 20's. She had a 3 month baby girl so I thou.ght. More woman together. Fuller house safety in numbers u know. So I let her move in charging the same rental as I did the first lady. But this woman was useless at keeping her baby calm. And got irritated and would scream and swear at the baby I got fed up after I heard her smack the baby and got up and took baby from her to help. Except baby mamma got to comfortable with the arrangement. So I told her fine I’ll look after ur child to but u paying me. So I did it. Only this girl couldn’t wait to get all hippy with my ex and was throwing her body around so much. I started fearing sexual diseases. I finally met someone and after talking to him for a few months. We decided to meet. I have never hidden my past from my boyfriend’s. So anyone I had been with knew upfront. But I took precautions and was always safe. I had my tests and I’m clean. Anyway so I go visit by my new friend for a week which eventually became 2. Then we talk and it’s suggested I move in and then I don’t have to live like I am. So here I think yay I can get out this hole I’m in. So I accept. My baby is with dad for the weekend so I tell my new guy let’s go pack my stuff. And off we go. I get to the house. Nothing’s locked. But it’s dead quiet. My eldest goes up the stairs to the room to start, but comes running down the stairs asking me, mommy why is uncle so so in say woman’s bed. So I ask her where’s the woman. She tells me also in the bed and my sister’s In the middle of them while they sleeping in their underwear. Now I’m so angry I could kill. How fucking dare u put my baby in the middle of ur whoring. So I struggle up the stairs. Slam the bedroom door open and ask point blank in my babies father’s face. What whoring us this with my baby in the room His whore jumps up in my face screaming and swearing. So I punched her. She fell and I grabbed a handful of her fake black curls and knot my fingers in there. By now baby daddy has jumped up and starts pushing me that I’m falling all over. With his whore enjoying my tangled fingers and has no choice but to get beat up along the way. Mr big scary man tries pushing me out the room. But the fighter in me is fed up and after he threw me that I almost went down the stairs, I stood up. Spread my legs curled my only working hand around my phone and I start punching in a downward fashion. Not seeing my cellphones sticking out my fist slightly. But I just hit over and over until I saw blood. Then I shocked myself back into calm. I had broken his one bottom tooth. Mr was furious, and marched out the house to go get the police for me. But by this time, my eldest had contacted my mom and stepdad and they had baby so I was able to start packing so I did. Except I stuck a kitchen knife in my pocket. And just packed like normal and had my back to the kitchen door, suddenly baby daddy was standing there threatening to take my child and bring me down. And as he stepped into the kitchen I turned with the knife and he stopped. So I got nasty and taunted him. I told him oh yes, the big man only hurts defenseless woman. It didn’t work and baby innocently walked in and I put the knife back in my pocket, but made sure he saw me do it. The police arrived and the female officer stepped inside talking to me. And I explained what I found and saw and the physical fight that broke out. Mr was trying to get his whore to come lay charges against me to. But all I did was walk towards the female officer. She saw I was disabled and told me to get a bodily harm form and go to the doctor. So I did. I went to the station and gave my statement. I then took the form to my doctor. Where she explained my condition and weaknesses. While she had a good laugh at my ex and how I had turned the tables on him by hitting back I still owe this doctor for this check up as I had been hurt and being thrown on top of wooden chests had taken it’s toll, so I was bruised. Which was caused due to loss of muscle from being partially paralysed.

Alright so we had a huge argument and I refused to let him leave until he had taken my eldest child’s Xbox games out his bag. I called the cops because lawfully he can’t remove anything until all that doesn’t belong to him has been taken out. I got my child’s stuff after he slammed the boot of our car on my head and shoulders a few times. He even pushed me but I had been holding onto the car so I just looked at him. Now being so much weaker than him by rights I should have fallen. How I stayed on my feet could only be pure will. But at that moment the cops arrived and the officer saw him pushing me. So he screamed from the van to remove ur hands from that woman. I got released immediately. They had parked in front of my gate so I took my crutch and went up to open for them. I explained what I wanted and the officer enforced it. Baby daddy then left. Taking the car and all the funds. Now I’m panicking. I don’t have food in the house. I’m alone with a 1 year old and still barely able to walk from my stroke. I live in the middle of nowhere, with just bush around me. I contacted my mom and told her what my now ex fiance did. She rushed over to help with baby and took her until I could get food into the house.

I put a call out to all my friends. And a lady I’ve known for years responded with her husband. They brought me rice. Some chicken liver and whatever they could afford to get. Then I went and got my baby back. I was not letting this man’s actions because he wasn’t man enough to handle what had happened, force me to lose my baby. Then came the worry of keeping food in my house for baby. So I kept stressing and I stopped eating and started living off water and tea. My mind was wrapped around any food belonged to my baby. 3 days after he left. He bought a checkers packet of food but dropped it at my parents place. Which then costed my stepdad to have to walk to me to bring the food. It had been a pack of 4 chicken breasts. A pack of worse and nothing else. How do u feed a 1 year old just meat. So I asked around and found out that theirs certain places a woman can advertise if she’s desperate. So I looked at my body in the mirror and put some lace on and took photos. Leaving my face out only capturing my body. And I put the advert out. I was petrified and I wasn’t able to be flexible. So earning potential was left to weekdays while my child went to creche and that her father had to pay. And weekends if my child was with dad or gran. My family helped me as much as they could. And my poor stepdad walked up and down for milk or bread. Or anything I might need. He would walk to me, collect money then go to the shops and walk back. This man did more for me than any person. And I will always be grateful. This man my mom married when I was 13 years old was the best decision she ever made. He will go to the ends of the earth for us. Ok so now I’m selling my body to get food for my child. But due to restrictions I’m still struggling to keep up. The fact that I can’t really walk didn’t bother my visitors but I couldn’t go out to them. So it cut back on hundreds I could make. So mow I start hunting for a roommate. But I need an open minded woman. Because I’m female. My child’s female and because of my circumstances that needed to be understood. I found a young African girl through one of my visitors and we started talking on whatsapp. This girl was on her own and very young. So I offered the protection of 2 woman in an accommodation. There was a house for fill use and I had 2 big dogs that were indoor and outdoor. German shepherd cross ridgeback. One day later she moved in. Sadly she saw my circumstances and worked consistently until she filled the fridge. But by now I can’t really stomach Solid food. So still not eating. The weight loss was drastic and I was starting to look sick.

Ok. But saying that. I met many wonderful people. A young African man that had a tumour cut off his spine. Got all his movement back and finally went home. Then there was another African man that always met me in gym in the mornings so we could ride bicycle together. Him on the normal bike and me sitting in my wheelchair with my feet strapped to the peddles and then we cycle until our therapists find us. I also met 2 ladies one my age that had been in a boating accident and broke her spine that she was paralysed. I’ve watched this lady keep fighting through the years never giving up to walk again. And then there was sian tae. I can say her name because she was in the newspapers for having a rare disease. This girl had become paralysed from the epidural while birthing her little boy. After the procedure. She never got her legs back. But she fought to walk and fought to run. 5 years later. She gets cancer and dies from that. I was heartbroken. But I admire the fight she put up and u just couldn’t get to her.

And now back to me. I had stay in the rehabilitation center for 2 months. Finally I come home. Now things are weird. By this stage, I had birthed a baby, then had a stroke. I’m home but barely able to walk. And found out my fiance had been sending emails to other woman while I was going through all this. So I email both woman and explain who I am and I forward the other ladies email to one. Then swooped and did the same thing to the second. I apologise to both of them for my man being a man who’re and press send. Then I get a message from a friend only to find out he tried to get her to move in my house. Except he didn’t know. We knew each other. So I tell her everything I found out and said I believe her. Later I confront him. But his words to me were. Are u trying to fuck my life up. Nevermind everything I had been through. And that’s when I knew it was not going to work. Any ways jumping 1 year later. I’ve just celebrated my babies first birthday and was very proud that I was back to driving and being able to go out on my own by now. Stood and baked for my child’s birthday and because she was a baby I made pink cupcakes in the shape of a big number 1. Boy was I slapped in the face. So I explain instead of a cake I did cupcakes. I got sworn at and he stormed out going to the shop and bought a cake to let everyone sing. Needless to say it ended up she got scared of the lights being off and everyone singing that she cried and I put a stop to everything putting lights on. A month or so later our roads water is switched off. So now making bottles. I needed to fetch water from my mom’s. So I take the kids and go. I get back and I park the car. My eldest helps me get baby out car and we take water bottles and go inside. As I step inside I see my France’s work bag laying in the middle of the floor packed. So I ask him if the work called for him to go offshore again. He tells me no. I’m leaving. Now I’m confused things have been ok. I’ve bbeen doing therapy and learning how to cope without anyone to help me look after my baby. He stated so nicely I’m lraving u. So I ask again. Why. He looks at me and tells me u to much of a bitch since u had ur stroke. I stand there in shock and look at him. I can’t bbelieve I loved u. Ur a selfish bastard. What the he’ll did u expect from me. I’d had a c section then a stroke and a year later u expect a bed of roses. Yet u running behind my back like a whore. Ok now I need a small break. The next section will be very emotional for me.

Hi everyone. Just a quick call in. Im sorry I've left u all hanging. But in next day or so I will continue. Sadly my country is at war with itself. And I'm just trying to sort out a few surprises.

If u in South Africa with me. Im sending u all love and strength. Prays are coming from all over the world. For those that went out to protect ur community I'm very proud to call u all brothers and sisters, and thank u. To those families that lost loved ones. Im terribly sorry. They will be forever in ur hearts and memory. To those out there fearing hunger. We are busy getting a list of suppliers. As soon as everything's collected we will be handing out information into ur areas. Please be patient. We working as fast as we can.

And please #note not all Zulu are involved. And to be fair to innocent people.

Love to all. I'll be back soon.

And so now I’m stuck in westville life, the very first morning after getting raced in. I wake to see my gynae in my room. So I ask, what’s up! She turns to me saying I just got informed u here, I’ve come to check up on u. So I thank her and she leaves. Never to be seen again. So I put her out my mind, by now being a seriously cigarette addicted person. I’m freaking out. No one will let me have a wheel chair to go out without permission( this hospital is actually very badly equip to deal with people like me. The nursing staff are rude and abrupt. The doctors treat u like an idiot, they don’t discuss anything with u as it looks like, when you’ve had a stroke. You got no common sense or feelings. Now there’s one item I absolutely despise. I had it used on me with my eldest birthing. Or after when I got the blood clot in my hip. A catheter (omg) it’s one of those things that drive me insane. The constant urge to urinate. So I tell westville staff, I have full control of my bladder. take it out. They refuse to so I tell the sister I feel I want to see. So she forces me to press my bladder to make sure I see it’s working through the catheter. This continued my entire 3 day stay in ICU( I’m still fighting about my cigarettes. So on my second to last night, I’m sitting up in bed, when my fiance arrives. He dumps his wallet, lighter and cigarettes on the bed then runs to the toilet, now the devils on my shoulder. I pick up the smokes and quickly light one, hiding the box under my butt on the bed under the covers. My fiance runs out snatching the smoke out my hand so I proceed to light another, while he’s stunning out the first one. Now he’s fighting with me, so I say tell doc I want a wheelchair and I’ll wait until he gives me one. But if u don’t demand one, I’m lighting every cigarette in this box. Well I got my wheelchair and the next morning forced my fiance to take me out before the doors were unlocked. Now my last day at westville, I’m being transferred to Entabeni life hospital now. Entabeni has an awesome rehabilitation center for people like me. But I need to wait for a bed. So I got to go home for 2 days while we wait for a discharge. ( it starts). So we get home. I’m wheelchair bound except for being able to stand and transfer myself to toilet. But I’m permanently supervised. The entire family had to go through a sort of training on how to work with me. Where to stand and they grip the elastic of the back of your pants whenever they work with us. I can’t complain about entabeni. I met some amazing people there, my first morning at breakfast, I met nameless. He had been shot accidentally in his spine by being caught by a drive by shoot out between cops and some bad guys. Now paralysed from the waist down. Now for those that do know me. I might be Afrikaans but open to interracial friendships, even though I had been raised to be. This young man asked me to sit with him and then asked me what had happened. I proceeded to cry over breakfast, telling him everything. He then told me about his ordeal. Then it’s time for occupational therapy. I have this cute but tiny therapist working with me and I feel like if I fall I’ll squash this poor girl. But she takes my arm and positions it in a type of swing rope sling, that it’s in line with my shoulder, but elbow and wrist is supported. Now I must swing my arm. So I try. Wow. It’s working. So I’m ecstatic my shoulder muscles functioning. So we sit and work the muscle for an hour.chatting all the time. Shivani is such a nice person. Straight from there I get taken to physiotherapy. There I meet peruksha. Now this therapist I feel I won’t kill should I fall. She’s well built but sturdy. Very pretty. Omg what pretty ladies. Peruksha now starts teaching me independent transfers and we start with scooting exercises. Where u sit on the edge of the flatbed and pres the balls of ur feet down to lift yourself to shift over on a couch. But I had to keep going until the edge of the bed, then come back. This is afternoon therapy, then we got time to kill until supper and visiting hours. By my second day, there’s a young lady in a room across from mine. I’m a mom and they had already discussed a young girl in a different room that might need a mom response. I had already met the 12 year old, that sadly had a permanent disibility, I had already told her to come to me anytime and I had been in and out her room. But now I needed to meet this young lady. So I wheeled myself in to a room that I never knew would become a daily stop in. I met nameless 2 she had gone out clubbing and got back at 3am. Then opened the big sliding gate and as she turned, the girl driving accidentally slammed into the gate, knocking it on top of Chloe. A security spoke had gone into her head as well as under her kneecap. My new friend was paralysed from the neck down.

Summary. Paralysis is the loss of muscle function in part of your body. It happens when something goes wrong with the way messages pass between your brain and muscles. Paralysis can be complete or partial. It can occur on one or both sides of your body. Chloe And I became besties. Sharing every experience, happy or sad moment. The sisters always said if u look for one u will find the other.

And now I'll leave u hanging.

Hi I’m Charlene van der berg. I’m a 37 year old 6 year post stroke patient. I made a promise to myself and I’m here to tell u how I do it. So typically u’ll be taking the steps with me. But first some medical history. 6 years ago I had been a happy pregnant fully functional already mom of 1 biological but many of my heart girls. But personally I only have two beautiful daughters and a gorgeous red headed grand daughter. (And yes she fights with me.) Moving on. In my pregnancy I had blood clots in my calf. I did my hospital stay (thankfully private) and was appointed a gynae in westville life hospital. So yes private. But that didn’t save me. I was told my due date was for 11april 2015. But baby started giving me a hard time. First making me walk like a penguin with a lot of pain. By cracking my pubic bone. I still had 2 months to go. But then she tore my placenta in March which caused me to bleed. They raced me through because I was on blood thinners and via an emergency c section on Friday the 13th march during a rain storm at 4.30am my beautiful daughter was born. After her birth I was taken to a recuperation room. But without even a check up my doctor ran through and wheeled me into another room. Where she proceeded to give me an internal straight after c section pressing down on stomach to break the blood clots on my uterus up into pieces expecting them to all come out like a period. But what I'd like to know is how she knew I had the clots before touching me. She told me I had clots as she took my bed into an empty room to do the procedure. Sadly I wasn’t that lucky. On the 10th of afril 2015. I had a friend come visit bringing me gifts for baby and to drink coffee. Then just before 4pm she has to go so I give my baby to my mom. (That lived with us due to my complications.) And I say mom bath her and I’ll let my friend out then when she’s done I’ll feed her. I go out and open the gate for my friend and as she turns to say bye. I get a sharp pain in my temple so I squinted.she made a remark. I told her about the pain. But Saud I’d go rest. I go into the house and up the stairs into my room. My mom turns to talk to me and starts pointing at my face asking me what’s wrong. By now I see panic in her eyes. She’s now freaking out and starts pointing to my bed telling me to sit down I’m having a stroke. I sit down. I keep trying to talk to my mom, to say calm down u holding my baby. But my tongues so heavy I can’t get it to work properly, my dad comes running in, I try to stand up but hit the floor. Now I couldn’t ffigure out how to move. So my dad lifted me back to the bed. Now I’m laying there my mom screaming for her phone. And she phones my fiance, he phones the ambulance. But my fiance arrived first and he was just calming me down when the ambulance got there, they come in and assess me. I got something they call restless syndrome. So when my left side stopped working my right side went into over drive and I couldn’t ccontrol my arms movements. So in the ambulance I got s reamed at by a paramedic for ripping out my drip and spraying him with blood.( By the way young man. Do u realise that u screamed at a woman that was terrified she was going to die!moving on. Ill forgive you, because you young. I had just birthed a month before so I knew my status and informed him apologising for spraying blood on him.

Moving on, I got raced to westville life hospital as I had birthed there and was their responsibility.

Ok now I’m going to see if you want more, subscribe to read more and learn how I’ve survived and walk with me while I rebuild 6 years later.